Butter vs. Margarine.....

It's been a while again, and I apologize. Busy busy here!! C reminded me of this story a couple weeks ago and I KNEW y'all would love it!

Once again, I was getting dressed, showering, making beds or doing laundry and the kids were out of my sight. They were quiet. YES, I know.....that's the first thing they teach you at childbirth class, when the kids are quiet, be alarmed. be VERY alarmed. AND once again, that warning I was paying no mind to as I had things i needed to get done.

All of a sudden I hear peals of laughter. The kind of laughter that ALWAYS makes you smile and want to laugh along. It was coming from downstairs. ALL 3 kids were laughing. Big from-the-belly laughter. My heart was singing. It was a wonderful sound. And then, warning bells went off in my mind. Uh oh. I knew they were up to something......

I made my way downstairs to the continuing sound of laughter and squeals of delight. As I hit the bottom step, out of the corner of my eye I see one of the boys go flying by in the kitchen. What???

I head to the kitchen. The sight I see shocks me to my feet. I stand there with my mouth wide open struggling to find words.

There's Bonnie sitting on a chair in the corner, squealing with laughter, still in her little footie jammies, watching her brothers.

There's Clyde, no pants on, no socks on and laughing. There's C with no pants or socks on, laughing. BOTH boys are covered head to toe in margarine. The floor is covered in margarine about a 1/4 inch deep. They are sliding back and forth across the floor like its an ice rink. Oh. My. God. They don't even notice me standing there and take off for another slide, and Bonnie squeals with more laughter, clapping her little hands at the show her brothers are putting on for her.

All I could think, was how was I going to clean up THIS mess??? A wildlife federation commercial flashes through my mind where they were cleaning animals with Dawn dish soap after an oil spill. My next thought was HOW was i going to get to the sink and the children out of there with out tracking that country crock margarine everywhere???

Sigh.

Bike Riding
"clyde" learned how to ride a bike. It's a huge thing for a kid with motor planning issues. I will never forget the day his physical therapist asked me to come out to the hallway to see something.....there was "Clyde" on a big wheel, pedaling with all his might up and down the hallway. I cried. He was 6, and i never thought i'd see the day he learned to pedal a bike.  

It was a quick transition from the big wheel to a bicycle...with training wheels of course. He LOVED the yellow and black bike my sister bought him for his birthday. He rode it EVERYWHERE. We had a fenced in backyard and i'd let him ride it all over the back yard. He and his brother would have "races" around the back yard, down the drive way, and to the cul de sac just one house over. 

Well, as Clyde got older, he felt he could ride that bike any time, any where. With or without his brother or parents. I was out one day. Not sure where, maybe I was at work or shopping, and Dad was on "duty". He was upstairs and he heard the garage door open. He was getting dressed after a shower with the boys. "C" could dress himself. Clyde still had trouble. Dad assumed it was "C" that had opened the garage door and was heading outside. He hurriedly put his clothes on to check. As he got to the garage door, he passed "C" on his way. Shoot. Where's Clyde??

Well, Clyde decided he wanted to ride that bike. He was addicted to riding that bike. We had taken many bike rides around the neighborhood as a family.  Clyde decided that he was ready to ride that day. Off on his bike he went.

He was gone a good 5 minutes when Dad realized he had taken off. Dad put on shoes and took off on foot to see if he could find him. Now, remember, they had just had a shower and Clyde has a seizure disorder and autism so anything could happen.

Dad rounded the corner by the school and there was a sherrif car and a town police car stopped. The officers were standing outside of their cars with shocked expressions on their faces. As Dad nears, he sees Clyde.

Clyde had taken his bike out for a ride. He put on his helmet and his shoes. BUT NOTHING ELSE. 

CLYDE WAS STARK NAKED!!!!!

Dad was embarassed.....tried to explain to the officers just why his kid was out on a bike ride naked. 

Laughing, the officers replied, "At least he had a helmet on!" 

Safety first, I guess.

Great America 2.0

Great America 2.0

Well, it's been a while since i have written anything....sorry. Life is crazy as a single mom of 3 and 2 of them having a rare seizure disorder. It's summer time again which i kicked off with a weekend away in Indianapolis with that group of amazing moms. But this blog isn't about them....though I could write a whole other blog about them and our weekends!!! 

Anyway, we once again have our season passes to the local theme park, Six Flags Great America. The kids LOVE the place. Me? I'm getting weary of it, but its what they want. So, Father's Day comes and of course, their dad goes away for the weekend and I get stuck with the kids on his "day". My brother wants to head to Great America with my nieces for the day and wants us to go too. (We get a special pass so we don't have to wait in lines.) SO, the plan is made. Bonnie, Clyde, and myself will head to Great America, first thing when it opens and meet up with my brother and his kids. Bonnie adores her cousin, K, and spends the day riding all the rides with her, and holding hands with her. Quite sweet, actually! 

So, the next ride is the Giant Drop. It's a tower that has multiple sides. On each side is a "car" with 4 seats. The ride starts and the car is taken all the way to the top of the tower. Once at the top, you sit up there for a few seconds. The view is great. Some days you can see all the way to Milwaukee from up there! Well, we presented our pass and had to wait til the next start of the ride, as the one was just loaded and about to head to the top. We were standing RIGHT next to the gate with an attendant right there on the other side with the ride buttons next to her. As we watched the people on the ride ascend, we paid little attention to Bonnie. 

The next thing we knew, Bonnie's little arm shot out, and hit the red emergency STOP button on the attendant's buttons!!!!  The ride comes to a screeching halt, half way up. OMG. The poor ride attendant starts to freak out. My brother starts to freak out. He says I don't even KNOW that kid!!  He tells me there is no way he's getting kicked out of the park for Bonnie's antics!!  I am laughing. I am shaking my head. ONLY my kid. Seriously, who puts buttons that are that important within reach of kids????  

The booth attendant is frantically trying to restart the ride, He's on the phone. He's pushed the automated voice button that says the ride is experiencing temporary mechanical issues. There's a mom standing nearby who's husband and sons are on the ride. She's trying to stay calm, but is also getting freaked. You see, HER son also has autism and is on the ride. Its the only one he wanted to ride that day and it breaks down while HE'S on the ride. She's hoping he doesn't freak out too. 

Five minutes go by, and the maintenance guys show up. They are in a good mood.....and I call out to them...You should really put a cover over these buttons so no one can ever do this again!!  One of them stops as Clyde says, again always in his dead pan voice, "Dat Builder Bob, Mom?"

The Maintenance guy looks at me and asks why i think there should be a cover, and I tell him, "Well, the ride stopped because my daughter, here(i point to her), reached over the gate and pushed the red button!" The maintenance guys both start laughing. HARD. The other one points to tiny Bonnie and says "That little peanut stopped the whole ride???" Now everyone is laughing. Within minutes, the ride is up and running perfectly again, as there is really nothing wrong with it. Bonnie makes her mark again.

Dining Out

Dining Out

So, we were out at a restaurant. It was their grand opening, and they had some events scheduled. One of the events was a local radio station was broadcasting from there. 


The station decided to do a little contest and asked for any kids there at the restaurant to come on up. "Bonnie" ran up to the station table. With a little encouragement, "Clyde" was convinced to join his sister. There were 2 other kids in the restaurant at the time that also joined in.


Well, since it was a BBQ place, the station DJ decided to have the kids make animal sounds and the kid with the best one would win a prize. The animal chosen was a pig. Each child was told that when it was their turn, they were to make a sound like a pig into the microphone.


AND, we're LIVE on the air! First up, one of the other kids, he makes a pig-like snorting sound into the microphone. "Bonnie" goes second. Filled with trepidation, we held our breath to see what she'd do. Into the microphone she makes a snorting pig sound. WHEW! Up third is one of the other kids, and he simply does, "oink."


OK, now you understand, "Clyde" has his animal sounds down. He KNOWS them. The DJ holds the mic out to "Clyde", says, "Make a pig sound, C!" And, in his trademark deadpan deep voice, "Clyde" very clearly says,





"MOOOO."





Wait. What?!? 

Theatre!

Theatre!


So, anyone that knows me, knows I love the theatre....both watching and performing in it. That love has transcended to my children as well. One even performs too!!  


A few years ago, son #2 and I were both cast in Seussical the Musical. "Bonnie" and "Clyde" were inundated with the music at home. It was all we listened to in the car and at home for six weeks. We had to learn the lyrics, the cues, the choreography. We had to practice! 


Tech week arrived. It was time to put this thing on the stage. That meant rehearsal EVERY night, at the theatre. Props and sets were arriving. Costumes were being created and practiced in.


One of our very last rehearsals, "Bonnie" and "Clyde" had to attend as their dad couldn't be home from work in time for us to go to rehearsal. I set "Bonnie" and "Clyde" up in seats in the theatre with their water and snacks, HOPING they could behave til their father showed up while their brother and I were on stage. 


PLACES! I took my place on the stage for the opening number. "JoJo" was ready down the stage right aisle. "Cat" was on stage ready. We hear the opening lines and bars of music......


All of a sudden, a little voice, that of "Bonnie" fills the theatre as she yelled out the first part of the opening number......


"SEUSS!"


That wasn't enough. For there were 2 more big "Seuss"-es. "Bonnie" once again filled the theatre with her little voice and let out another....


"SEUSS!"


EVERYONE on stage, broke character and started laughing. Even the director was laughing. EVERYONE missed their cues. We shushed "Bonnie" and started again.  


Yep. You guessed it, "Bonnie" couldn't resist. 


"SEUSS!"


"Clyde" stood up, slapped his hand over her mouth and told her to "Be Quiet!"


"Bonnie" smacked "Clyde" upside the head,put her hands on her hips, and again, filled the theatre with her little voice...


"I SINGIN!!!!"


Yep, more laughter from the entire cast as "Cat" scooped up "Bonnie" and performed with her on his shoulders. SHE was the star that day!!!!

Great America

Great America
Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Il. is a great theme park. My kids LOVE the place....no surprise there! For the past 6 years or so we have had season passes. We used to live in Grayslake and the drive there was minimal. Now from Palatine it's a bit further, but we make the trek a few times a week. There's a water park open from Memorial day weekend through Labor Day Weekend every summer as well as the regular theme park, so season passes give us approximately 6 months of fun every year!


One of the many times we were there, "Clyde" and i were waiting in line for one of our favorite coasters, The Raging Bull. "Clyde" has autism. He doesn't understand standing in line and waiting very well. SFGA has done a good job of trying to make standing in line pleasant with tvs and music. Sometimes its ads for the theme park or music videos. Standing in line still poses a challenge for "Clyde". The music makes him dance....he's quite the dancer! 


Well, this time, dancing wasn't enough. "Clyde" decided that he needed to make friends. Behind us in line were two really pretty black girls. They were dressed to the nines. High heels(could never figure that out in an amusement park), tight jeans that hugged their great curves, low cut tops that showed off their "assests". Of course those tops were adorned with bling. And I don't mean a little sparkle. I mean BLING.  The one gal's top had some scrolled word across her chest that was completely adorned in sparkles. Of course both gals had on tops that were tight. 


"Clyde" started flirting. Yep. Flirting with the girls in their snazzy outfits. They were somewhat nice to him by saying hi and smiling. Well. Wouldn't you know that was all the encouragement "Clyde" needed???


"Clyde" has always loved words, books, and shiny things.  He loves shirts with  pictures on them. He loves to touch the pictures and trace his fingers along the outlines.  


The girls were laughing at "Clyde" and talking to him a little. He says to them, " I like dat shirt." They laughed. I said, "yes, "Clyde" those are  very pretty shirts, aren't they?" He responded, "ya, I like dat shirt."


And before I could even blink, out shot "Clyde's" hands and in each hand he had a fistful of each of the gal's ample breast and their sparkly shirts. "Clyde" had a silly grin on his face and kept saying "sparkly"  as the girl screamed.....


Yes, I got to meet security that day........

Church 2.0

Church 2.0


Yes. It seems the challenge to take small children to church plagues me, and I have yet to learn my lesson. I still take them. Supposedly God loves them and wants them in his house. And since most Catholic churches have undergone renovations to have a more circular worship space, they have done away with cry rooms. SO, yes, the entire congregation is subjected to my crying, yelling, unruly children. 


Some years have gone by and the girl child is now a part of our lives. She has learned her older brothers will do anything for her and whenever they are around, throwing things is a game, for they retrieve each item, over and over again. She used a pacifier. I have ALWAYS hated the stupid names people over the years have given them..."paci", "binky", "nuknuk", "looly", etc......makes me shudder to hear them. I revolted at anyone referring to any of my children's pacifiers as one of those. However, i too, DID have a "cutesy" name for theirs......"SUCKY".    I was never without LOTS of "suckys" at all times. I had them in my pockets, purse, diaper bag, stroller bottom, glove compartment, anywhere i could hide a spare, it was there. 


Church. We were there. "Bonnie" was in a relatively good mood and awake for once during church...she was probably 8 months old? Old enough to have learned the throw it and my big brothers will fetch game. Well, that day at Church was no exception. She was throwing those suckys. HARD. Who knew an 8 month old girl child could have such an arm?


Well, as it would happen, one of those suckys made its way under....WAY under the pew in front of us. I stopped the brother from getting it, subbed another one and figured we could get it after mass. Yes. It got quiet. VERY quiet in the church. There was no carpeting anymore at this church so the slightest sound was amplified in a big way. "Clyde" saw the sucky under the pew. And sweet kid that he was.....he decided to try to get that sucky. Before i could even react, "Clyde" was over the kneeler and wriggling under the pew in front of us. He was successful in the retrieval of that sucky. He wriggled back out from under the pew and over the kneeler. 


Now, "Clyde" has special needs. He was 7 before he could really talk. What he could say you had to know him to understand. Plus, he did NOT have all the letter sounds. He had some words, and every now and then a few would come out strung together. Today was one of those days. 


"Clyde" scooted out from under the pew, over the kneeler, stood up, held the pacifier high, and in the near silent church, triumphantly at the top of his lungs he shouted, 




"HEWRE HER FUCKY, MOM!!"


From my spot under the pew, i could see the horrified looks on the faces of surrounding parishioners and could hear the ripple of laughter......