Church 2.0

Church 2.0


Yes. It seems the challenge to take small children to church plagues me, and I have yet to learn my lesson. I still take them. Supposedly God loves them and wants them in his house. And since most Catholic churches have undergone renovations to have a more circular worship space, they have done away with cry rooms. SO, yes, the entire congregation is subjected to my crying, yelling, unruly children. 


Some years have gone by and the girl child is now a part of our lives. She has learned her older brothers will do anything for her and whenever they are around, throwing things is a game, for they retrieve each item, over and over again. She used a pacifier. I have ALWAYS hated the stupid names people over the years have given them..."paci", "binky", "nuknuk", "looly", etc......makes me shudder to hear them. I revolted at anyone referring to any of my children's pacifiers as one of those. However, i too, DID have a "cutesy" name for theirs......"SUCKY".    I was never without LOTS of "suckys" at all times. I had them in my pockets, purse, diaper bag, stroller bottom, glove compartment, anywhere i could hide a spare, it was there. 


Church. We were there. "Bonnie" was in a relatively good mood and awake for once during church...she was probably 8 months old? Old enough to have learned the throw it and my big brothers will fetch game. Well, that day at Church was no exception. She was throwing those suckys. HARD. Who knew an 8 month old girl child could have such an arm?


Well, as it would happen, one of those suckys made its way under....WAY under the pew in front of us. I stopped the brother from getting it, subbed another one and figured we could get it after mass. Yes. It got quiet. VERY quiet in the church. There was no carpeting anymore at this church so the slightest sound was amplified in a big way. "Clyde" saw the sucky under the pew. And sweet kid that he was.....he decided to try to get that sucky. Before i could even react, "Clyde" was over the kneeler and wriggling under the pew in front of us. He was successful in the retrieval of that sucky. He wriggled back out from under the pew and over the kneeler. 


Now, "Clyde" has special needs. He was 7 before he could really talk. What he could say you had to know him to understand. Plus, he did NOT have all the letter sounds. He had some words, and every now and then a few would come out strung together. Today was one of those days. 


"Clyde" scooted out from under the pew, over the kneeler, stood up, held the pacifier high, and in the near silent church, triumphantly at the top of his lungs he shouted, 




"HEWRE HER FUCKY, MOM!!"


From my spot under the pew, i could see the horrified looks on the faces of surrounding parishioners and could hear the ripple of laughter......